His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
