I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
