Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I touched a dick in church today
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
