Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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