"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
