I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
