Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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