I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
