Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
