you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
