You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
