What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
