So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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