Sacagawea was the original milf.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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