just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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