hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
