Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
