I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
