ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
