talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
