Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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