dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
