I wanna passion pit in your ass
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
