wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
