I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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