I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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