So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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