apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
