Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
