It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
