don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
