you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Omg I joined a choir last night...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
