started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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