Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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