She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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