does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
