If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
