Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Let's get the cat blown out
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
