Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
