Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize