dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Don't tell me you're on acid again
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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