Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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