She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
