Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
