I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
