??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Actions speak louder than pants.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
