seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
