he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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