Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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