shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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