She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
