On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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