i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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