so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
