Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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