next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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