no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
