She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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