So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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