yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
