I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I just got carded by a ten year old.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
