Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
