She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
