He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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