some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize