Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
